My grandmother told me, "Nowadays, girls can make a career. But they don’t find husbands. Or they don’t spend enough time with their husbands which finally abandon them. Then women lead a dissolute life ..."
My mother said to me, "I think you're the best dancer in your dance class. But you know, I'm partial: you're my daughter. Anyway, you'll never be a prima ballerina."
My dad said to me, "You're good at basketball. Well, sure, you're only in a small team ..."
The man who assaulted me when I was a teenager said to my body, "That's all you deserve."
The adults who didn’t hear me, said to me, "You’re worthless."
Only my heart said to me, "You are capable of great and beautiful things."
But its voice was stifled by all the others. The voice of my heart, even me, especially me, I did not know how to listen to it. Instead, I believed all the other voices. For thirty-three years. It took me ten more years It's long. It’s too bad. It's lost. It's life !
I think that the experiences of others only have value for others, that it's up to each of us to save ourselves. But I cannot help, despite everything, to write to you: let’s listen only to the voice of our heart. We alone know what is good for us. We alone know our own value. We alone can make our own happiness.
Is it selfish to think of one's own happiness?
No. Being happy is the only way to make happy the ones we love and who love us.
When we devalue ourselves, how can we value others?
When we do not trust yourself, how can we support others’ self-confidence?
When we are unsure of ourselves, how can we be a strong and reliable base for others, for our own family?
To be happy doesn’t mean to swim blissfully in a cloudless happiness. No. Who could claim to have had, or to have in the future a life without clouds, without external difficulties!
But let’s not be afraid! Let’s not be afraid of life! And more than anything else, let’s not be afraid of ourselves!
To be happy is to be at peace with oneself. It's trying to create, every day, one's own happiness. It's the quest for happiness, it’s creation, that makes us happy.
And creation isn’t only writing the novel of the century or painting the painting of the century. Creation, it means cooking the meal we’re going to share with family or friends; it means succeeding, day after day, in building a lasting and harmonious relationship with one's life partner; it means educating our children so that they become happy, responsible and sociable adults; creation means offering a smile, a sign that will generate happiness, I was about to write, fleeting or lasting happiness, small or big. But I believe that happiness is neither qualifiable nor quantifiable.
When we smile at our groceries cashier, who knows how that little smile will benefit her? How in turn, she will benefit the next costumer ...? When we support a cause, even at a very modest level, we add our energy to the overall movement and it's not insignificant.
Telling one's own story isn’t necessarily writing a book. Telling one's own story is living one's own life. Not the life that our childhood, entourage or society has assigned to us. But the life that’s in us, the one that dictates our heart which is unique. I grant you, it's not easy! But the way is worth the detour!
What is waiting for us? A trip more or less long inside ourselves.
What is the point? Well, each of us, human being, has been, since childhood, by our parents, customs, society and/or habit, on a way mapped out, but a way which, often, goes in circles. When we feel cramped or uncomfortable on the way that has been attributed to us, if walking hurts our feet, back, head, heart, there’s only one solution left: finding our own way! It's not easy, we do tests, we make mistakes, we try other ways ...
Ah, but when finally we find our way, even if it’s long, even if it’s exhausting, walking is finally rewarding, walking finally makes sense!
And who knows? Perhaps we will reveal ourself to be a great woman in the eyes of the world? What’s for sure, is that we’ll turn out to be a wonderful woman in our own eyes, in the eyes of those who love us, and that is only happiness!©
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