"Time and space seemed to me to be fluid, carrying me on their stream; I was the Wandering Humanity, the aimless Humanity, yet inflamed with ideal: the Humanity enslaved by some laws and yet driven by a rebellious will to break them down, to make an existence free from them ..."
"In front of my eyes, remained only the beauty of this human effort that stood itself erect in the infinity of the world. A show that the soul jealously welcomed and harbored. This was not the great revelation: that was the underground work of the germs which already have the presentiment of the heat of the sun, and fear its perfect splendor, while desiring it."
"And I wrote for an hour, for two hours, I do not know. The words flowed, serious, almost solemn: I managed to define my psychological state, I asked my suffering if it could be fruitful (...). It was the only time in my life that I wished to find Faith in a Divine Will, and I waited for it with my hands joined. And in this invocation there was all the despair of a mind feeling weak, exhausted, at the very moment when it sees a long way to go ... (...).
My tears flowed, abundant, liberating. Blessed! Blessed! Finally, I accepted in myself the hard duty of walking alone, of struggling alone, of bringing to light all that rose in me stronger, more pure, more beautiful. At last I blushed my useless remorse, my long, sterile suffering, the disaffection in which I had left my mind as if I had hated it. Finally, I tasted the flavor of life..."
But Sibilla Aleramo has a child whom she loves and who loves her. And love will make her a slave chained by and to her husband. Should she follow the example of all these women, "bloody symbols of the vanity of sacrifice, terrible examples of the punishment that falls on every conscience that denies itself. Was not I one of them?
The reasoning and the intimate assurance were not enough for me. I had continued to belong to a man whom I despised and who did not love me: in front of others I wore the mask of the satisfied wife, legitimizing in a certain way this ignoble slavery, parising to the skies a monstrous lie. For my son, not to run the risk of being deprived of my son. And now, the last cowardice that has defeated so many women, I thought of death as a liberation: I resigned myself to leave my son so I could die: I did not have the courage to lose him so I could live."
What choice will Sibilla Aleramo make? You can read Wikipedia! Oh no! Don’t do that! Please don’t do that! You would miss the most powerful, the sweetest, the deepest, the touchiest, the greatest story. You would miss an understanding of women and of the world that would be missing in your life. You would miss out on a woman's life that explains the lives of women.
Never has a book touched me as much as this one. I recognize the course of life of Sibilla Aleramo, a mother, a human being who decided, against men, against her society, even against women and against her own mother’s feelings, to live. Sibilla Aleramo, a mother, a woman, a human being, very human.
Gabrielle Dubois ©