I have always worked to earn a living for myself and my children. So far, nothing extraordinary. I have a physically exhausting job, which requires carrying a lot of weight at arm's length. Arthrosis is present in all my joints. For 15 years, it has found my body very welcoming! I feel like a rusty iron robot.
Six years ago, when I started writing the novels that had always invaded my head, I had to write them at night, on Sunday afternoons after work, and every hour I could pick up here and there! (cf Freedom, Stories and Happiness )
In short, since I need more than the four hours a night that Napoleon needed! Last March I made a huge decision. While my husband and I were working ― we work together, we started our small business 16 years ago. I told him all of a sudden:
‘Doudou, at the end of the year, I'm done!’
I must say, I didn't have much choice, the doctor had just told me that I would lose my arms if I kept working like this. But the decision was very difficult to make because I cannot be replaced. This meant closing our company. As a result, my husband would also find himself out of work while our two children are at university. But he said:
‘Well, you can't keep exhausting yourself like this anyway, physically and morally.’
Isn't he nice, my husband?
So we're almost there. At the beginning of next year, in 2020, my husband will go looking for a new job and I will dedicate myself to writing.
We're going to have to tighten our belts, no big deal, my body has its own stocks! But I am TERRIFIED because I have always promised myself that I will provide for my children's education and I will not break my own promise. If I have to, I'll find a little job to make ends meet. But we're not there yet!
And at the same time, I am EXCITED because after years of overcoming my childhood hardship, I will finally do what I like and do it full time: tell stories.
So, for weeks now, I've been feeling weird, like if I was made of cotton. I want to laugh and cry at the same time, in short, all sorts of emotions assault me, but I'm not really afraid after all. I am grateful to life for giving me the opportunity to experience all these emotions.
The past, you have to look back at it to understand your present. But once it's done: off with it, into the sea! It takes courage to jump into the water and try to reach new lands. I am grateful to life that gives second chances whatever your age.
And I am grateful to life for giving me choices. And I choose to try to live from my writing, with enthusiasm, with confidence, because I know one thing: there is nothing worse than having regrets.©
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